Posted by: Jessie Kwak | October 28, 2009

How to tell that the hotel you’re about to check into is…sketchy.

There are a certain breed of hotels here in Peru that are designed for the, ahem, discreet couple.  They blend in well, and they tend to have enticingly low rates.

Rob and I were hunting through Lima yesterday for a hotel to stay at with Mama and Papa Kwak when they come in December, and we stumbled upon what looked like a great deal.  A brand new hotel building with matrimonial rooms for S/.30?  Let’s check it out.

Sign #1:  Amenities include adult channels.

I was tipped off first by the list of amenities:  Hot water, private bathroom, TV with cable.  The “Venus” Channel.  Hmm.  So maybe it caters to businessmen traveling alone. We kept going.

Sign #2:  You can’t see the person at the front desk.

I like to be able to see who I’m talking to, but at this particular hotel the front desk was screened in with darkly-tinted glass.  I had an entire bizarre conversation about prices with my own reflection and a set of well-manicured nails that appeared briefly to push a business card through the slot.

Sign #3:  Minors not allowed.

As soon as I saw the plaque next to the door that read:  “It is illegal for minors of age to enter the premesis,” I was pretty sure that no matter how good the price was I wasn’t about to bring my parents here.  We begged out politely and hit the streets once more with a collective shudder.

[Updated 10/30/09–I was just looking at the business card that they gave us, and the top-listed amenity is “beds with mirrors.” How did I miss that? -JK]

 

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Responses

  1. We are of course looking for unique and adventurous experiences while in Peru, but we were thinking more along the lines of river rafting or trekking or even pisco sour. We probably should draw the line somewhere… Thanks for looking out for us!


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